A Canada-based Nigerian businesswoman, Dr. Adeola Olubamiji, has shared what she did when she had to choose between her love life and a fully funded PhD scholarship in Canada.
In a lengthy Twitter thread, Adeola narrated how she met the young man who was madly in love with her and later proposed to her in Finland. However, shortly before the proposal, she got a scholarship to do her PhD in Canada, meaning she would relocate and leave him behind.
She noted that she accepted his proposal, because she knew that turning him down would have left him devastated. After relocating, she found it difficult to manage the relationship and deal with stress from her studies, so she had to let the man go and hold on to the hope that she’d meet another.
Narrating how she managed the dilemma, she wrote,
“One of the hardest decision I have had to make is to turn down a LOVE that came at the WRONG TIME. I met a guy back in Finland. We were both students by day and cleaners by night. But he was madly in love with me. You could tell him anything about me and he would still love me.
Suddenly, I got a PhD admission and full funding in Canada! And it became clear that I was going to move to Canada and leave him behind. Guess what? He proposed! Chei! What was I supposed to do when I know he could kill himself if I said no. Well, I said yes.
But made it clear, I am going to Canada and going alone! If you want me, get yourself to Canada by school or any other method Smiling face with open mouth. I am not staying back to marry and have kids while we would both be cleaners and be madly poor and madly in love.
I left for Canada. With time difference and PhD student stress, the relationship became a burden. I am realistic, so I let this good man go! Told myself there will be other good men in the future. For now, let me face making myself a real, successful and good woman.
A few years into my PhD program, people starting telling me that no one will marry me with a PhD. And when I tried to date, the guy was told by his friends and family that I will be too smart for him. I cried many nights and I was legit afraid. I was full of regrets.
I risked turning that man down. My mates started having kids over 10 years ago. They were already becoming managers in banks in Nigeria and here I was living in a basement collecting next to nothing as stipend and working as a sales girl and getting kicked by PhD thesis
After realizing worrying can’t help me, I decided to face my PhD, finish it, get a job and stay in my lane happily. Na late I late, I no kill person! I decided to remove pressurizers from family and community out of my network and make Jesus and my career my friends.
2 years later, the best man for me came. I was in a happy place. A PhD holder, have a job, a car and saving to buy a house. I had built something for myself and was ready to start building with someone. This man is the greatest supporter I have ever known.”